[all questions] - How can I get to know a potential new partner?
Although in his imagination it is easy to know who you like, in real life it is much harder collides with reality. However, there are some tips that can improve your chances of success!
Below soe simple rules for contact new people online!
Dating multiple people at a time is a strange habit to get used to, and can often seem irresponsible, but when it comes to online dating, meeting a variety of new people at once is a smart move. "It's a numbers game," says Spira. "I know people who go on dates three times a day, every day! It may sound like serial dating, but if you're interested in really connecting with somebody, then there's nothing wrong with going out with several people at a time." Keep in mind, too, that most of the time you're paying for these sites, so getting your money's worth means being efficient about seeing who's out there.
Make a Move
In your initial e-mail to a potential partner, it's crucial to indicate that you've read his profile and took an interest in it. According to OkTrends, the top three phrases in initial e-mails with the highest response rate are "you mention," "good taste" and "noticed that." So, describe something that resonated with you from his profile, advises Spira, but avoid physical compliments because "they seem too clichÃ©d." And keep it brief: OkTrends found that the ideal first message length is only 200 characters, or one minute's worth of typing for the average writer. The shortest messages get the best response rate; the reply rate goes down as messages get longer. This is likely because an initial message serves mostly to make your profile available to the other person. The lesson: Spend time on your profile, and don't stress too much about your first e-mail!
When it comes to virtual dating, forget playing "hard to get." If someone you're interested in contacts you, it won't pay off to "casually" wait a few days to reply. "If you play games and wait to get back to him, he may have already run off into the sunset with someone else," says Spira. You need to show your interest right away; in the world of online dating you never know how many women one man has contacted, and how quickly the others may express their interest. If you contact someone and haven't heard back in a week, it's OK to send a second e-mail. If someone is new to a site, his or her profile is often featured in the community and the person becomes inundated with e-mails. So, assume that your interest hasn't had time to open your message. But if there's silence after two e-mails, cut your losses and move on.
Taking the Relationship Offline
The time to take your relationship beyond the boundaries of the dating site will eventually come. And according to Spira, it should be sooner rather than later. Exchanging two or three e-mails is a good way to get a sense of each other's personality. After that, have a phone conversationâ€”trade cell phone numbers, never home numbers. Or better yet, call him so that you won't have to give out your number at all. "If you don't have any phone chemistry, then it's unlikely that there will be a spark in person," says Spira. But if you do, it's time to meet.
The Ideal First Date
The perfect first date is a personal decision. For some, a midday coffee is especially effective. "You can get a good feel for someone in 20 minutes," says Dr. Gonzaga, "and since you both probably have to get back to work, there's a specified end time if the date doesn't work out." Spira prefers dinner dates because the extended length can give you a deeper sense of your date's personality. If you show up and your date looks nothing like his photoâ€“â€“and this does happenâ€“â€“don't run screaming for the exit. The best thing you can do is be polite and keep the date short, says Spira. You don't need to call attention to it. "You know he looks nothing like his photo; he knows he looks nothing like his photo. There's no use in putting him down."
Since being on an online dating site puts you out there for everyone to contact, it can be hard to know when you have become exclusive with a partner. You may have stopped checking your profile and messages, but has he? Until you've had a conversation about retiring your profiles, says Spira, assume that he is still dating other people. "And don't go to bed with him," she adds. How do you approach this delicate subject? Be upfront. If you broach the topic and he says that he isn't ready to pull down his profile, Spira recommends saying something like, "Well, I am. I think that you're great and I hope you catch up. I guess I'll keep mine up as well and continue dating."
If your relationship fizzles after a few dates, it may be tempting to revert back to e-mail to end it. Resist the urge, says Spira. "Don't go down in history as the guy or girl who dumped someone over e-mail, especially when e-mails can be forwarded." Instead, apply the Golden Rule and treat others as you would want to be treated. Make a phone call or meet in person.
Taking safety precautions is always crucial, whether you're dating someone you met online or in person. Never give out your home phone number or address until you get to know someone, and always choose a public place for your first date. Spira employs a buddy system for initial meet-ups: Tell a friend where you're going and whom you're meeting. Midway through the meal, go to the bathroom and call or text your friend to let him or her know whether you're OK or feel uncomfortable. If it's the latter, don't hesitate to leave.
If at first you don't succeed, don't give up! Even if sparks don't fly with someone you initially meet online, it doesn't mean that he won't turn into a great friend or helpful business contact. "Online dating used to be a strictly matrimonial endeavor," says Spira. "You'd go online, find your husband and get offline. Now, I look at it as a combination network of dating, socializing and business. So cast a wide net, and always be polite. You never know whom people can introduce you to."
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